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I Love My Wife and Family- I SWEAR!

The issue of COVID-19 is not only wreaking havoc on our way of life, but it sure as hell is trying my patience when it comes to my wife and family. Let me back up – I love my wife and family, I cherish, value, and appreciate them yet there are those times when I want to slap, punch, and yes strangle them. I am sure we all have this love/hate relationship with our spouse…

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Where Do I Belong?

I belong nowhere. I am not straight. I am not gay. This poses an issue in the LGBTQ community. The gays sneer at me like a wannabe and the straights have branded me, traitor. I turn to the trans since they seem to be the only ones who understand my struggle. Clawing at the surface, I dig deeper to discover who I am. I do not know. At a loss for words, I sit here…

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Circus Freak

My wife and I try to have date nights. Sounds simple enough. Every couple should have date nights to break away from the mundane. We spend so much time at work, household chores, and family obligations we tend to forget each other. The last thing on our mind at bedtime is romance. Falling facedown into our pillow we manage a mumbled ” I love you” before the chorus of snores echo the room. However, on…

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My Friend, Death

Death is my friend, grudgingly. No introductions are needed. The courtship started when I was child with the death of my father. Taunting me, she shows herself as if to remind me that I am not worthy of it. We see death as an ending, as the final chapter in someones life. In fact, it is quite the opposite. The hospital was cold, sterile, and quiet. The front doors opened in a swooshing automatic way…

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MY Reality, Your Creation

I did not create this reality, you did; everyone did but surely not me.  There is no way I would have purposely created THIS for myself.  I struggle daily trying to find my place in the world.  I envy anyone who is so set in their convictions.  They embrace it yet I refuse mine.   I live between reality and the awareness of my fucked up existence.  I stare at people and think ‘ this is…

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Simple Times?

As I sit here watching reruns of TV sitcoms, I start to reminisce about how life seemed simpler.  We lived in the moment and things just seemed uncomplicated.   I remember hopping on my bike pedaling to the local convenient store to grab my mom a pack of smokes.  I was fourteen.  It was no big deal and by doing these errands it did not encourage me to smoke. I really gave no thought to it.…

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Ugly People are Beautiful Reminders

I am no hero nor am I trying to be one.  Some think they are entitled to their 15 minutes of fame.  Who are you trying to be famous for and why?  I don’t seek fame nor glory. I have no fucking clue what I am searching.  I guess you could say the same as everyone else.  Love, prosperity, acceptance and happiness.  I know I should be saying peace on earth but I am NOT…

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My Beautiful Distrastous Home

I am unable to cry. It is stuck in my throat pushing at my eyes and suffocates my chest. I went to Texas to see her but I arrived too late. I never got to whisper in her ear just how much I love her. I wanted to apologize for ever doubting her, for not spending more time with her. I stood there before her. Lost in my grief.   There she is……….dead. I cannot whisper…

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