I have known Kai for 9 years, married for 3. If anyone would have told me I would marry a female I wouldn’t have believed you. Being brought up in a liberal household I was never restricted in my views and yes, raised to know that color, sex, or religion does NOT matter. We are ALL human and everyone should be treated with kindness and respect. It’s called MANNERS!
Before I get on my soap box, let me take it down a knotch……. I fell in love with the person not the gender, not the race, nor the color. Love is love and that is all I knew. To everyone’s shock- I married a female despite I have never even been with a female. Well……………. that was college and we have ALL dabbed in areas during those years wouldn’t ya say. (wink-wink)
Kai has always been open and honest ( this is key and very important) with me about wanting to transition into a male. Honestly, I blew it off and never really thought much about it. It really didn’t matter to me but as the years came and went I witnessed just how unhappy Kai was and struggled to look in a mirror. My plan was to love Kai and be supportive unconditionally. Yet in my naive way of thinking- I had not realized that Kai’s unhappiness had NOTHING to do with me. Let me say that again- Kai’s unhappiness had NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING to do with me. yet, I took it so personally like I was doing something wrong.
This is important to understand because I blamed myself for a long time. I felt isolated, lonely, and crazy. Yes! crazy! I thought I was losing my mind. I was sooo oooo sure that IF I loved Kai enough then there is no reason for unhappiness. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t enough to FIX the issue. Wasn’t MY love and MY support enough for Kai? short answer- NO.
You heard me- NO. I can love Kai to the moon and back, more than the tiny grains of sands of all the beaches, yet if Kai doesn’t accept or love himself then his struggle will continue. I can’t speak for Kai- and on this website he will share his story, but as the wife- I can assure you the journey for BOTH of you will be challenging with different obstacles to overcome.
I don’t have ALL the answers but I do offer my support to ANYONE that is going through this transition with their partner. Please reach out to me ask me anything, or maybe you just want me to lend a shoulder to cry on- that is why I am here. I never want anyone to feel hopeless or lost so we BUILT this website for YOU!
Stay strong and remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!