In the begining there was my girlfriend, who then became my wife and is now becoming my husband. No one, and I mean NO ONE can fully prepare you for the transition journey let alone BEING the spouse of someone who is transitioning. I have the upmost respect and love for anyone going through their own transition. It is NOT easy. It is confusing, heartbreaking, frustrating, lonely, and awkward. I don’t know ANYONE who would voluntarily put themselves through this for it to be “just a phase”.
Are you fucking kidding me? I am the spouse and let me tell ya! IT IS NOT A FUCKING PHASE!! Who the fuck seeks out loneliness, ridicule, awkwardness, and rejection? ALL of these happen and MORE! I left out prejudice, hate, inequality, isolation, and dysphoria. I can’t speak for my husband since that is HIS journey. However, as a spouse of someone transitioning it is FUCKING HARD!!!
The person I married, the person I became to know and love is slowly fading away. I’m left to discover a new person who is the shell of what I use to know. It’s hard to explain to love someone so completely and watch them change into a stranger. No one talks about the what the spouse goes through. Let’s talk about that…………………
Today we are going to talk about “the shot”. Anyone transitioning knows all about the shot! Whether it is FTM or MTF- hormones adminsitered to assist you into becoming their TRUE SELF. In my spouse’s case- it is Female to Male.
About 12 weeks ago( I may be off about 2-3 weeks) my husband began taking his testosterone. I didn’t think much of it. I was very “whatever” about it since I love Kai no matter what gender. Our love will conquer. LOVE conquers all. right??? Well, it does, but along the way anger, frustration, and yes, invasion of the body snatchers will enter into your spouse and take over their bodies with the extra bonus of fucking with their attitude.
There have been rare occasions where I will reach my threshold of patience to the point of violence. I don’t condone violence or abuse on anyone but man I was literally contemplating driving my husband to ends of the earth and dropping him off in a black hole! What the fuck is in those shots? liquid asshole enhancer? My husband has PMS 24/7 !
It is exhausting! I love my husband, I love my husband, I love my husband………
Hang in there if anyone can relate and as always – we will get through this!
I will be writing more in depth on this topic and the journey. I will post soon.